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May 10th, 2025, 09:20 AM
#2
AL75 Member
Re: Local Games Part 3
Hi King!
This story was fantastic and I absolutely love how it ended. I'm a little confused by one point - when Mila approaches Sabrina in the laundry room, she says she is leaving in two days, but the scenario at the end seems to suggest she is leaving fairly early the next day. Is that an error or did they really go at each other for two days? ;-)
The scenario was great and the execution was spectacular. The idea that the two women may become partners or more in the future is also appealing. At the least, I can't see either of them being satisfied with anyone else!
It would be great to see more of these characters, but I feel the same about almost every character that you write.
Great work. Looking forward to your next story.
JB
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